Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Bullying and how it shaped my life.

When I look back to my childhood I am afraid that the memories are not that great, even with my rose tinted specs on. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of love and some good times but the overriding feeling I have about my childhood is that is was a sad time.  The main reason for this, was the relentless bullying I suffered at primary school. I can't help feeling that my childhood was taken from me, and I guess it has played a part in the person I am today. Thankfully most of the bullying stopped when I went to comprehensive school and I was able to form some firm friendships which I still have today. 



I have had many years to reflect on the bullying and why I found myself a victim to this bullying. I think part of the reason was that my family were on a low income, although both my parents worked. My clothes were second hand and I guess I didn't look like the other trendy kids. The main reason though is that I was a quiet shy child, unable to assert myself. This led me to being a bit of a doormat, and I still have that with me today. Children have an uncanny ability to pick up on weakness, and unfortunately this was my downfall.

Anyway years later, I have a reasonably paid job, a handsome husband and two beautiful children so life didn't turn out too bad for the little bullied girl. My daughter is now four years old and is in her second year of school (they start them young in Wales!). She knows her own mind and is not afraid to speak it! Some people may think she is high maintenance, as she is liable to have the odd meltdown if she doesn't get her own way. I can't help feeling proud of her though. She is clever, and confident in social situations. She is feisty and sometimes acts like a spoilt brat, but I love her! I am hoping that she never has to experience bullying in her, and with her strong personality I know that the chances are reduced. Unfortunately most of us experience bullying in our life, even in adulthood. 



I have a guilty secret as when I was in my early teens, I was involved in the bullying of another child in my local choir. I enjoyed the feeling of power, which I have always felt ashamed on. Thankfully the bullying didn't last long and we all became friends again, but I also now know how easy it is to be drawn into bullying behaviour. The pack mentality takes over. 

For anyone concerned about bullying, check out the following link as it has lots of great info on how to spot the signs of bullying and how to deal with it. http://www.beatbullying.org/  I just wish that my teachers all those years ago, had not just turned a blind eye to the bullying that was to steal my childhood. 

2 comments:

  1. It's very easy to get sucked into that kind of situation without really realising it. I read something, a good ten years ago now, that stuck with me. Bullying isn't always about the intent of the bully, it's about how it makes the other person feel, how they perceive it. It helps me understand my own experiences a bit more, and while I can't say I can completely forgive the people who bullied me over the years, I can at least see that it was maybe not intentional, or at least not by all the people involved.

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    1. That's a good way to look at it Lorraine.

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