Saturday, 28 April 2012

Ten things I love about my hubby!

You may think the title of my blog is a bit odd given that I do like to have a moan about my hubby at times via my blog! There is no getting away from the fact the fact that it has been a tough year for me and my family, This has led to much frustration and resentment for both me and the hubby which ids not normally there. Despite this we still have a loving and supportive relationship for which I am very thankful. It can be easy to take your partner for granted and I certainly am guilty of this! I am also guilty of not showing my appreciation of his finer points (after all, these are why I fell in love with him!). To help redress the balance I am posting what I love about him, to help make up for taking him for granted so often! Apologies if this is too soppy but whats a bit of soppyness amongst friends! 1, To the way he makes me laugh! I don't think anyone makes me laugh as much as he does. I love his cheeky sense of humour and although it is juvenile at times, this is just what makes me guffaw! I am a big kid at heart so I think in this department we are a perfect match. He regularly engages in banter with his friends via email, and text. I just can't help myself from having the occasional read as chances are I will be wetting my knickers laughing at some of the comic quips he comes up with. His sense of humour was one of the main reasons I was attracted to him when I first met him at work! Life without laughter would be very dull indeed. 2, He is a fantastic daddy Obviously I couldn't judge this when we first met as we didn't get round to making babies until some years later! I was a bit worried when our daughter came along that he wouldn't want to get fully involved in the day to day care of her, but I needn't have been concerned as he got stuck in. I don't think I could manage without him, as he is always there to help out with the kids. He changes nappies, gets up for night feeds, feeds the children, takes them out to give me a break and this is just for starters. We have friends who have children, where the daddy is hardly involved in these sort of tasks so I thank my lucky stars everyday! 3, He is devilishly handsome I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I really do feel so lucky to have such a handsome hubby. I have never felt that confident about my appearance and certainly don't think I'm an oil painting, so it has given me a lot more confidence to have a fit hubby! Even now, he still makes me go weak at the knees, and I love the fact that his hair is starting to go Grey as he definately has a George Clooney thing going on! 4, He is very clever I don't think I have met anyone who can debate aswell as my hubby. He is so sharp that I haven't got a chance of winning a serious debate with him. Although this can be frustrating for me at times (because I like to think I'm always right!) it also makes me love him when I see him in action with others. I also love the fact that he can talk to a room full of people and gain their attention with seemingly little effort on his part. He presents and trains to rooms full of people on a regular basis, which I am totally in awe of. 5, He is great at DIY! The hubby managed to keep this skill up his sleeve until relatively recently. I always believed that he was relatively inexperienced with DIY so imagine my delight when I discovered he was brilliant at it. Recently he has put a conservatory up from scratch, revamped our kitchen and re-tiled the bathroom. This is the stuff that dreams are made of! 6, He is very loving If I am ever upset or feeling down, he will do his very best to cheer me up. He is always there for a hug or a cwtch as we say in Wales. We have been through some hard times but he is always there for me, and is my emotional crutch. 7, We have so much in common. The hubby absolutely loves films, and likes nothing more than relaxing in front of a film with a glass of wine. Fortunately so do I. We love the same films, the same music and have the same interests. We really enjoy camping ,music festivals and we also share the same friends. I really am so lucky to have someone who I have so much in common with. 8, He can be very romantic Not long after we met, he took me out for a surprise Valentines meal. After the meal he asked me to drive to the coast, and I was so surprised to find that he had borrowed a camper van for the night. The van was filled with roses, chocolates and gifts. We spent the most wonderful evening sleeping next to the ocean, I will never forget that night! 9, He is very artistic I have absolutely no artistic talent- not a smidgen but luckily the hubby does. He can play the guitar, is a great singer and he makes the most wonderful items out of wood. I am just totally in awe of this and our children will hopefully reap the benefits of this! 10, My family love him My family mean a lot to me- they are my world! Even though I don't see them as much as I should, they mean everything to me. It is so important that my family love the man I love, and luckily they do! When I was younger my dad was quick to spot the dodgy boyfriends and would tell me so. Even though I disagreed with him at the time, he was always right! There has been no such complaints from my dad about Matt, and he really enjoys his company so he must be a good un! My grandparents also think the world of him and treat him as though he is there own grandson. The fact that my family love him means I love him even more. Anyway that's enough of the soppyness for today. Everytime I get a bit annoyed with him, I just need to re-visit this post and I will soon be thanking my lucky stars again for such a lovely bloke!

Friday, 20 April 2012

A tough decision

Well the time has finally come for me to go back to work. I am going back after 6 months maternity which is sooner than I would have liked but unfortunately like most people, my finances will not allow me to have any longer off as the rates of statutory maternity pay as pretty poor. It is a tough decision to go back so early but what makes it harder is that I am currently breastfeeding. I was absolutely devastated when my daughter wouldn't breastfeed and I ended up expressing milk for six months in order that she got the best milk I could give her by bottle. I was delighted when my son Bryn took to breastfeeding like a fish to water and the bond I have with him has been amazing. It hasn't been plain sailing as he constantly wants to be fed and regularly has me up every hour in the night to feed him but it has still been worth it. He loves Breastfeeding so much that he refuses to take a bottle. I have tried the odd bottle up to now but with no success so I have been gradually building myself up into a stressed frenzy as I don't want him to starve while I am in work. I have been sending him to a childminder in order to get him settled before I go back but he refuses to take a bottle and won't feed all day until I pick him up! I have had to wean him earlier than I would have liked in order that he gets something to eat while I'm not there. This week I have decided to increase my efforts and we did get some success in the week with Bryn having a few small bottle feeds, but when I sent him to the childminder yesterday he was worse than ever. He screamed the place down all day and was starving by the time I picked him up. My plan when I returned to work was to breastfeed him in the evenings and night, but for him to have a bottle in the day. I made the tough decision today to stop Breastfeeding as the fairest thing for him now is to have a bottle as I am unable to feed him when at work. It does make me sad because I love the feeling so much, and I wish I could stay off work longer in order to continue but my health visitor has advised me that as long as I keep on Breastfeeding him, he is unlikely to accept a bottle. Today hasn't been as bad as I anticipated. He has had a few screaming sessions but has eventually taken the bottle, albeit for only small feeds. I am really proud of him so far, but tonight is going to be the real test. He usually awakes at least three times for a Breastfeed so I am wondering what he will be like tonight when I offer him the bottle instead. Wish me luck!

Monday, 16 April 2012

Throwaway Comments

Monday is a day I really look forward to, as I get to take my 2 little monkeys to Playgroup and catch up with some of my fellow friends that are mums. I enjoy it but it can be a bit of a challenge as my 2 year old is a bit of a handful. Iola has opted out of sharing, and this can lead to many a playgroup tussle but I am sure that most mums would agree that this is common for toddlers. I have a friend who has a little boy who is very similar, and can be quite boisterous when playing. The odd fracas takes place but his mum always makes sure that he is spoken to about it and says sorry to the affected party if appropriate.

Today both our children were playing relatively well, but the little boy decided to throw something at another child. His mum quickly intervened and made him apologise to the other child and his grandparent. The grandparent commented that 'He hasn't changed then' which upset my friend greatly. She know's he can be a handful but these kind of throwaway comments can be quite hurtful to some of us less secure mums.

It took me back to an incident when My daughter was about 18 months. We were at a friends BBQ and my daughter hadn't had her afternoon nap. In these situations she tends to have very public meltdowns which can be the cause of much embarrassment but I try to best to diffuse the situation. On this particular day I have to admit that she was being hard work but I was hoping for understanding on my friends part which was duly given, but it was a different story for her aunty. She told me that 'I needed to curb my child' before I had any more. This was particularly insensitive at the time becase I had just found out I was pregnant with my second child. I don't know why people think they have the right to pass judgement on your parenting and your children after minimal contact with them. These kind of comments can be very hurtful and people really should think about the consequences of these comments before they utter them! I am thinking that I need to develop a thick skin for this parenting malarky.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Time to move forward

After a particularly angst ridden post the other day , after a miserable few days I have started to feel slightly better. A relatively decent nights sleep and advice from fellow bloggers always helps. I know my situation is far from ideal but I had a chat with the hubby yesterday and we have both agreed to try harder to make our situation better.

I have spent the last few days having a clear out and putting stuff on ebay which will help the place feel less cluttered and make us a bit of extra cash. I am also going to dedicate more time to my blog to allow me to get these things off my chest as I am guilty of bottling things up and letting them get on top of me. I do think I am suffering with Post Natal Depression still (which I had thought I had got over) so will be contacting my doctor for some further support.

We are going to try and get a bigger place as we recognise that its going to help our relationship and be beneficial for our kids but it is going to be a financial gamble again. I have been accepted for a low rate loan which will give us a deposit for a larger house, and we will rent our current place out (providing we get a mortgage of course!)This will be a risk as we are putting ourselves in further debt and we need to find decent tenants for our current house, but things have got so bad that I think its a risk worth taking. If the worst come to the worst, and it doesn't work out, then we will have to make ourselves bankrupt and suffer the consequences but we will still have eachother. Worse things happen at sea!

The mortgage advisor is coming to see us tommorrow so fingers crossed that things work out and we can move to somewhere with enough space for us!

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Instead of just a standard entry, I would love my readers to give some thought to their favourite childhood toy. My daughter Iola and I have been having great fun playing with some of my old toys that my nana has kept stashed away in anticipation of her great grandkids. There is a 50 year old fisher price wind up radio that plays singing in the rain, old toy cars, a trumpet and that old chestnut Guess who!

 Thinking back to my childhood I would have to say that my favourite toy was my Space Hopper
I used to love bouncing up the garden on it trying to bounce higher and higher. It was just the best feeling in the world- so much so, I might invest in an adult one! Anyway I would love to know what everyones favourite childhood toy was, so will be asking you to comment on the blog as part of the Rafflecopter entry form. Please complete the form, and no cheating as I will be checking that all entries are valid! If the Rafflecopter form doesn't come up straight away, just refresh the screen and it will appear.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Stuck in a rut!

As the title of my post states-I am stuck in a rut and need to get a few things off my chest about my life in general. I don't usually like to open up to people about my situation but it has got to stage where I need to sound off a bit before I go mad!

Over the last ten years since I met my hubby, we seem to have made successive bad decisions with our finances. I have been lucky and gained a number of promotions in work over the last ten years, and my hubby has also seen an increase in his wages but life seems to be a constant struggle due to money worries. I really don't know how people on benefits or minimum wage survive as it is hard enough for us who earn a decent wage.  I don't treat myself to new clothes, hair cuts, holidays etc and buy from charity shops. Treating myself (apart from the odd bottle of wine) is just not an option as our finances won't allow it. We have got ourselves into debt over the years after a series of foolish decisions, and spending on credit cards etc. Before I met my husband the only debt I had was student loans from my time at university but I was shocked when we actually tallied up our debt yesterday it was nearly forty thousand pounds! I do feel a certain resentment towards my hubby as he actively encouraged us to get loans and has pushed me in directions that I haven't wanted to go which has led to more debt. I won't go into the finer details but I am certainly becoming bitter in my old age and don't want this simmering resentment to affect our relationship. I have also taken on other work from home in my spare time over the last couple of years, to make ends meet which has led me to feel exhausted and limits the time I get to spend with my 2 year old daughter.

My husband has admitted he has a problem with spending. Whilst I rarely spend any money on myself, he does make expensive purchases for himself, mainly on credit which is just aggravating our situation. Any discussion about this just leads to heated arguments and I suppose that I am a bit of a coward as I just leave the situation lie. He did state the other day that he was going to try and change his ways as he knows it is putting a strain on the family but I am not so sure. He has been suffering with stress and depression so I also don't want to aggravate this.

We were just muddling through until last year when I was shocked to discover that I was pregnant again. This was definately not planned as I know our finances wouldn't cope, and also our house is a small 2 bedroom house with little room for a second child. Since the birth of my son Bryn matters have come to a head. I am sleeping on the sofa downstairs as my son does not sleep in the night so I am unable to put him in the bedroom with my daughter as I risk waking her up. I also can't put him in the bedroom as my hubby wouldn't get any sleep before work and has beem suffering with stress and depression. Ideally we should move to a bigger house, with a third bedroom but we have no money for a deposit and our finances won't really allow it. I am just totally fed up and can't really see any way forward. I am returning back to work in a couple of weeks (out of financial necessity) but I have no idea how I am going to afford childcare, and think I need to get a part time job. This is going to reduce the time I get to spend with my children even more but I think this is the only way to keep a roof over our heads.

I am hoping that life will get better but at the moment, I don't know how.